Starting a new relationship brings with it new obstacles as well as thrilling hopes and experiences. Nonetheless, like with anything in life, getting off on the wrong foot can make things more difficult, if not impossible. Having the wrong views about relationships can follow people for the rest of their lives, causing problems in their relationships. To help you identify them, below are a few of the erroneous philosophies that may be affecting your relationship.
Your spouse exists to fulfill you.
The idea that your loved one exists just to serve your needs is a highly “take” mentality. If a man and woman in a relationship lack this, the relationship will fail. This is simple because both parties are taking until there is nothing left. A give-and-take mentality is crucial in a partnership. When both people give to each other, not only are their own needs addressed, but their connection becomes purposeful and fantastic.
Everything revolves around feelings.
Individuals in relationships place far too much emphasis on the emotions they receive from another person. Men and women frequently end relationships because their feelings for their significant other have faded. The truth about affections for someone is that no matter how appealing they are, the emotions will eventually fade. If they are truly attractive, the feelings may endure much longer, but they will eventually fade.
Putting all of your hopes and desires for a relationship on your feelings is a lost bet. Alternatively, the hope of a relationship should be based on the belief that a relationship is entirely up to you and can be as impressive and rewarding as people put effort into it.
Being captivated by someone else
People in human interactions are likely to experience crushes and sentiments for others outside of their partnerships. This may catch people off guard because they are unfamiliar with how to respond or what to do with these feelings. This is normal and does not indicate that they are with the wrong person. This shows that they are still human and capable of falling in love. Consider that if they were with that man or woman, they could be enchanted by the man or woman with whom they are now involved.
People only have what they put into the relationship and the commitment and affinity they have as partners after emotions go away, which they will. Be careful not to exchange something fleeting for something lasting.
Love either develops instantly or never.
Men and women who are dating frequently consider a potential boyfriend based on how they feel for them at the time. They frequently do not allow enough time for love to develop. The truth about love at first sight is that most long-term partners develop feelings for each other over time. If you don’t believe me, ask your married friends.*
The notion that love in a relationship does not grow goes hand in hand with not giving love the time to flourish. That once the feelings have faded, everything goes downhill from there. Men and women want to generate love emotions in a relationship; nevertheless, they must first increase the value of their relationship. Where partners can grow; the value of their relationship, learning everything there is to know about one another, the feelings they’ve shared, and the life they’ve lived together, these are the things that make relationships meaningful. The feelings will return only when they have been developed.
Connections should happen naturally.
Men and women alike may believe that partnerships must happen naturally. The truth is that relationships and chemistry must be built. This can be seen in arranged weddings, which have considerably lower divorce rates than traditional marriages. Men and women have confused the importance of hard effort and perseverance. When it comes to creating a relationship with someone, people tend to give up pretty quickly.
Love is discovered rather than constructed.
The concept of a soul-mate is one of the most damaging illusions in human relationships. Men and women believe in soul mates, that they meet and fall in love, and then live happily ever after. They are persuaded that the feelings and relationship will develop spontaneously and that nothing need ever be worked on.
The truth about relationships is that disputes, feelings, and love are all factors that must be created in any exceptional relationship. They are never simply discovered. Getting to know someone, working hard, apologizing, and adjusting are all things that must be practiced in order to find a soul mate. Only through them can people ever discover the importance, love, and connection that they want in a relationship.
Unfortunately, people leave relationships without working hard to establish them because they see their difficulties as proof that they aren’t soul mates.
Consider it similar to a dental check-up. You don’t wait for tooth decay to occur before visiting the dentist; you go to the dentist to prevent tooth decay. Counseling from someone more clever and experienced is something that any relationship may benefit from.
We may enter a relationship with inaccurate views about them and thus have a lot of difficulties creating and maintaining a connection, or we may enter relationships with the correct understanding, allowing us to build them into long and beautiful ones. Relationships, like a stable house, should begin with a solid foundation. It is having the correct beliefs about relationships in this situation.