Do You Live in an Abusive Relationship?

Do you believe your relationship is thriving? Some people are unaware that they are in a one-sided relationship in which their human rights are being violated. They may not always be aware that they are being managed, controlled, and used to please their partner. An abusive spouse can be either male or female, and the abuse can be sexual, physical, or emotional.

Is every one of your relationships abusive?

Some people tend to attract those who take advantage of them. They may have exited one violent relationship only to discover that the following one is likewise abusive. Psychologists have discovered that some people unconsciously pick abusive partners because that is the only type of attention they have ever known. Others would rather stay in an abusive relationship than leave because leaving would bring other anxieties such as fear of loneliness (e.g., I’ll never find anyone my age), financial difficulty (e.g., where would I live), shame (e.g., what would my friends say), or other stresses that would make the abuse appear to be the easier option.

Symptoms of an Abusive Relationship

There are indicators of abuse in a relationship. This is not an exhaustive list, but it serves as an example:

1. Your partner is too jealous and possessive, accusing you of betraying or failing to love them sufficiently. They will constantly monitor your whereabouts and activities, nearly to the point of interrogation. They may even track your internet and cell phone usage.

2. Your partner manipulates your existing relationships and tries to isolate you from anyone who may criticize them or push you to exercise your freedom.

3. Unless something is a success, your partner never accepts responsibility for it. If something goes wrong, it’s your fault, or they blame other people or situations.

4. You are held responsible for your partner’s emotions. So that it is your fault if they feel angry, depressed, or stressed.

5. Your partner makes all critical choices without consulting you. You are expected to unequivocally support these judgments.

6. Your partner wants their needs to be met by you and others and never pays attention to yours unless it is a ruse to have their needs met (eg. I did that for you therefore you must do this for me)

7. Your partner may demand you to obey rules that they do not observe. They may have been unfaithful, but they expect you to be.

8. Your partner will accuse you of being unreasonable while also being unreasonable.

9. Your partner will conceal all of the above while remaining charming and appealing to everyone except you. You will feel imprisoned in the relationship since everyone else will believe their smokescreen that they are fantastic, and how could you leave such a nice person?

These are most likely the most evident signs of an abusive relationship. However, any relationship might contain abusive components that are harmful to the partnership’s health. Most of us “show up” to relationships that develop as we go and as the relationship deepens.