Isn’t it true that relationships are what make the world go round? I mean, excellent, positive, healthy, and meaningful relationships give us the richest experiences we can have on this old world. Your loving spouse who shares everything with you; your closest friend who connects with you in a way that few others do; the people at work who respect you and help you to be the best that you can be; this is what makes life enjoyable!
Relationships, on the other hand, can be the bane of our lives! What causes more anguish in this life than a broken relationship, especially when it is not only broken but also ugly!
So, doesn’t it make sense for us to do everything we can to keep our relationships running smoothly? If we put our best effort into our relationships, we can nearly always expect the best results!
I’ve spent hundreds of hours over the years working with people in their relationships: marriages, friendships, workplace partnerships, and social relationships. Throughout it all, I’ve witnessed both amazing and terrible things. It actually is the good, bad, and ugly!
However, I have discovered three essential components of good relationships. These are the types of things that, when done consistently, begin to build the kinds of connections that you actually seek. They’re the kinds of relationships you’ve always wanted.
The acronym Z.I.P. is the key to remembering these three points. Z.I.P. stands for three things you can do – and should start doing right away – to strengthen any and all of your relationships. They are as follows:
Put a little ZEST in your interactions.
Increase the INTIMACY in your relationships.
Create a PURPOSE for your connections.
But as time passes, especially in a marriage, but in all relationships, the fun begins to fade. It’s becoming increasingly important to get the job done, whatever it may be.
We need to bring the concept of “zest” to the relationship in order to revitalize it.
So, how about you? Have you lost your zeal? What can you do to reclaim it?
Consider the following relationship: What were the enjoyable activities you engaged in in the start of your relationship that served as the glue that held you together? Now, commit to doing those things again and see if your relationship doesn’t improve! Create new enjoyable things to do together if you can, so you may both embark on a great trip together!
Increase the INTIMACY in your relationships.
First, a few clarifications: For starters, I don’t only mean sexual closeness as it is now understood. For all intents and purposes, I mean moving your relationship to the next level. Second, I don’t mean you should start conducting group embraces with your coworkers or holding revelation sessions in which the tissue runs freely.
What I mean is that every mutually satisfied relationship has a level of depth that provides significance. Meaning is what we are looking for in our relationships.
Remember the beginning of your relationship, whether with your spouse or a friend. All of that time was spent opening up, telling others who you are, where you’re from, and what you enjoy and dislike. The relationship endured because there was a strong sense of fulfillment. You liked who they were and enjoyed knowing them.
But then something strange happens. We reach a point where the pursuit of depth ceases. We stop discussing our emotions, preferences, and dislikes. We stop communicating our pleasures, dreams, and anxieties. Instead, we go into a rut. The daily grind takes control, and we cease to know one another and merely coexist. Don’t get me wrong: not every time you get together has to be deep.
Remember, I was the one who advocated in the prior lines for simply having fun on occasion. However, there is a need for frequent intimate connection periods where we can go deeper with people.