Did you know that relationships last forever? They represent the energetic ties and karma that will be played out incarnation after incarnation as we carry them on our soul path. In reality, we’ve been meeting the same people over and over, trying to heal our wounds and learning to relate to one another with love and compassion, or at least enough distance to dissolve any toxic or painful bonds.
Depending on what we’ve chosen to concentrate on, we may meet them for a brief moment or sustain relationships that last years. This is why you may feel an instant connection or attraction to some people, as well as a repulsion to others, including family members you are meant to adore. Indeed, we frequently share the most harmful karma with close family members! Yet, in order to grow and expand, we must go through difficult relationships in order to reconcile old emotional patterns and inclinations.
Relationships are multi-layered and complex. On one level, they connect us to the world, engage our senses, and provide contrast to our perception of reality. On another level, they engage the unconscious emotional fabric that serves as the cornerstone of our lives. So, even though we believe we know who we are dating, we may not be able to discern the underlying vibrational patterns that tie us to that person since they are from the past.
Some of these patterns foster positive connections (common interests, dreams, values, aspirations, ideals, etc.), whereas others foster conflict because they touch the wounds that we work so hard to avoid and disassociate from. Relationships, according to the ego, are primarily self-gratifying: they provide affection, sex, companionship, support, and so on. When our ego-based needs are not addressed, conflicts emerge.
Close relationships, on the other hand, are supposed to be learning platforms for self-knowledge and self-growth from a spiritual standpoint. They work as mirrors, reflecting our belief system—particularly what we believe about ourselves—and reactivating prior emotional scars that must be addressed and resolved.
Discover the Meaning of Your Relationships
We pick relationships to put all of our problems in front of us, so to speak, since it makes it simpler for us to address what needs to be addressed. Of course, it is not the only way to handle our issues, but since we become emotionally attached to the person with whom we are in a relationship, we feel compelled to deal with them in order to stop the agony and move forward—whether we choose to continue or quit the relationship.
How to Fall in Love With Love
Love is not a sentimental or self-serving game. Your essential nature is love. And if you want to truly feel love in a relationship, you must cultivate self-love and find a partner who does the same—someone who is not growing cannot allow you to grow. In other words, you must first develop more loving relationships with yourself, and then be open and willing to accept the other person for who they are. Otherwise, you’ll connect from an unconscious wounded place, merely trying to heal your wounds through the other while your partner tries to do the same through you.
Similarly, if you don’t grow and refresh your self-love on a regular basis, how can you love openly without feeling as if something is being taken away from you, or without expecting something in return? It’s really easy to get lost in a relationship if you don’t have that anchor to keep you grounded and strong. It’s not because you love too much; rather, it’s due to a lack of center—a strong inner connection to oneself. Lust, passion, or common interests are insufficient to sustain a relationship; they fade and change. Love and growth are far more powerful pillars for long-term relationships.
As a result, I recommend that you prioritize them:
- Cultivate love within yourself and pour it out on others.
- Address your emotional difficulties so that you may connect from the heart rather than the wounded ego-mind.
- Maintain your independence by engaging in activities that keep you centered and connected to yourself.
- Be in love for the sake of love, and find a partner with whom to share the goal of self-development.